#bleach Kojima

[loudestcloud]

Happy birthday to Mizuiro Kojima!

Best human boy. He's just trying to get by in life

[rukiadriedhisrain]

"i heard people "i know. are shipping us?" I started it"

[cheshiresense]

[From Here]

Dithered over which pov to write next, figured I’d try Yuzu.

-0-

When Yuzu gets a phone call from Ichigo that they would be having two guests for dinner tonight, she is delighted. In all the years she’s known him, her brother has only ever introduced one person to them as something of a friend. Mizuiro is half a sibling at this point, trusted enough to be around them even when Ichigo isn’t, but before him, and after him, nobody else has ever caught Ichigo’s eye enough to warrant an actual invitation to dine with their family.

“They’re related to ghost stuff,” Ichigo adds bluntly, and Yuzu understands that to mean that these two will at least be tougher than the average yakuza on the street, even if they can’t match up to her brother.

“I understand!” She chirps back cheerfully. “I’ll let Karin know. I can’t wait to meet them!”

Then she hangs up, rolls up her sleeves, and gets to work in the kitchen. No guests of her brother’s will ever accuse them of being ungracious hosts on her watch.

(Karin comes home from soccer practice half an hour later. She laughs, as Yuzu does, when Yuzu tells her of their impending guests.)

-0-

Two hours later, Yuzu is putting the finishing touches on the meal when the sound of the door being unlocked carries through the apartment.

"Welcome home, Onii-chan!" She calls out, plating the last dish before carrying it over to the dining table. "Dinner's ready!"

She can hear Karin leaving their bedroom and coming down the hall on deliberately heavy footsteps. She appears just as Ichigo comes in from the front, Mizuiro a step behind him, with two men bringing up the rear, vaguely middle-aged at first glance, younger at the second, and then just ageless the more you stare.

They're tall, is Yuzu's first thought, but everybody's tall from her perspective. Still, they're taller than Ichigo, especially the one in the very back, and bigger too, even if they've got that same elegant dancer's gait her brother walks with, the one that whispers danger in the hindbrain even to those who don't know what to look for. They're also both blond, one darker than the other, but both with hair that nearly reach their shoulders. One wears modern clothing, the other more traditional, and one is empty-handed while the other carries a cane, but both of them take in the whole room in one calculating sweep that misses nothing. And they're both already smiling politely as they walk in, one with a harmless playful edge, the other with a harmless mysterious air, but both as fake as each other.

Yuzu exchanges a glance with Karin just to check she's not seeing things. Karin gives her the eyebrows that means she's noticed too.

Mizuiro had given off a far less dangerous aura when Ichigo had first brought him home. And he still feels much less threatening than these men now, no matter how much Guest One and Guest Two are probably trying to play it down. But back then, Mizuiro had also come in with sharp eyes and a guileless skin-deep smile, and that at least is exactly the same.

Their big brother sure does have a type. Yuzu sometimes wonders if Ichigo goes out and picks the most suspicious and unsettling people he can find to entertain him, or if he just somehow attracts them with his innate charm.

"My sisters, Karin, and Yuzu," Ichigo introduces without suspense, then jabs a thumb at Mizuiro. "And Mizuiro lives next door but he eats with us when we're here."

Then he gestures at the two men. "This is Hirako Shinji and Urahara Kisuke." He pauses for a brief half-second, and his eyes flash gold in Yuzu's, and Karin's, direction. "Hirako's a bit like me." He pauses again, and a funny half-smile hitches at one corner of his mouth. "They both are actually."

He says nothing else, so Yuzu takes that as her cue to sketch a neat half-bow paired with a bright smile. "Hello! It's nice to meet you!"

Beside her, Karin parrots the motion, if in a more perfunctory manner, but they weren't raised in a cave, so they know how to be courteous.

The men murmur back their own greetings even as their gazes shift back and forth between them and their brother like they're trying to pick up on a second unspoken conversation, but it's not as if there's anything for them to hear either way.

It's just that the introduction was short, names and little else, so Yuzu knows that they're equally untrustworthy, which makes sense because Ichigo couldn't have known them for more than a week or two. But the little else he'd tacked on had been a sign as well— not just that they're like him in some ways, in different ways, but also that Ichigo likes Hirako more than Urahara. Nevertheless, the fact that he'd brought them here at all means that they're interesting enough to make them both tolerable.

Yuzu understands, as does Karin, but they give no indication of it as everyone shuffles around to wash their hands, and Yuzu quickly scoops out a bowl of rice each for everyone in attendance.

"Onii-chan never invites anybody over, so I made a lot of extra food today," Yuzu tells them happily. "Please eat as much as you want!"

"Everythin' looks delicious," The darker blond, Hirako, grins at her, and this time, the expression seems more genuine. At the very least, it gives her a warmer feeling than the other blond, Urahara, who also smiles and trills agreement but radiates more distance than an overseas phone call.

Everyone settles around the dining table, although Mizuiro spares a moment to pull an exaggerated moue of aggrievement. "Never invites anybody over? Have I been forgotten, Yuzu-chan?"

Karin rolls her eyes while Yuzu giggles merrily. "You don't count, Mizuiro-nii-chan. You already eat with us almost every day anyway."

Mizuiro drops the act in favour of a smirk, though he looks pleased too, to be counted as family, as if the novelty of it still hasn't worn off. To be fair, it had taken a whole six months before Ichigo had been willing to leave him in the same vicinity as Yuzu and Karin on their own, and Yuzu knows that being trusted like that by her brother is no small feat.

Conversation drops as everybody begins digging in, and Yuzu lets her gaze drift casually over to their guests as they too pick up their bowls and chopsticks.

It's Urahara she lingers on first because he's the one who lifts his bowl to his mouth, only to stop at the last second, chopsticks poised. His expression doesn't really change, and the lapse only lasts a fraction of a second before he's moving again, smoothly pretending to eat a mouthful before lowering his bowl again, chewing and swallowing thin air masterfully. Even Yuzu only spots it because she's been watching the whole time from behind lowered eyelashes as she grabs some eggplant from one of the vegetable dishes.

She lets her gaze drop completely when she feels the man's eyes move from the food to her and then to Ichigo. Still, she can't quite suppress a pout, although she supposes she can't be too disappointed either since Hirako at least eats a good five bites of his rice before suddenly stiffening, glancing down sharply even as his eyes flicker with the same burnished gold colour that her brother possesses.

Then he looks up, looks at Urahara, looks at her, looks long at Ichigo, and then-

-he laughs. It's a bark of one that echoes with a snarl, except the mirth in it is also entirely genuine, enough for Yuzu to glance up with startled eyes. But the rest of the table does as well, so at least she doesn't stand out. Of course, that doesn't prevent Hirako from grinning at her, all teeth, with a bite that would feel like claws at her throat if not for the fact that it's coloured by something even warmer than when he'd complimented her spread. Appreciation, maybe.

"Is it the rice?" He muses candidly, and then actually eats another bite. "Nah, can't be, it was from the same cooker. It's the bowl, right? Not bad, I can't smell or taste anythin'."

Yuzu blinks and shares another look with Karin, who looks largely bored by the proceedings and hasn't stopped eating. Soccer practice always makes her hungry. But she also shrugs in agreement that Hirako is being sincere, so Yuzu relaxes and looks at her brother next.

Ichigo also hasn't stopped eating, although he isn't shovelling food into his mouth as speedily as Karin is. He swallows, glances leisurely at their guests, then looks back at her. "Not bad. Nothing in the food though?"

Yuzu frowns. "It's the first time you've invited them over, Onii-chan. I didn't want to scare them off."

Also, they're tolerable, and Ichigo even likes one of them, so she'd chosen the mildly poisoned bowls over the severely poisoned ones.

Ichigo just looks amused. "They don't scare easily."

Yuzu pouts again before glancing at their two guests, who are both watching them openly now. Hirako still looks like he's just heard a grand joke, while Urahara seems more than a little bemused, but neither of them feels angry.

Her big brother really is an excellent judge of character.

"You really didn't notice anything at all?" Yuzu asks in earnest, peering at Hirako before squinting at Urahara. "Then how come he did? And did you already shake the poison off?"

Hirako snorts and reaches for the communal chopsticks to swipe another chicken wing. "My... constitution's pretty good at negatin' toxins. And Kisuke's trained for this sort of thing."

Trained? Yuzu stares wide-eyed at Urahara long enough for the man to stop exuding caution and start manifesting awkwardness, which isn't what she wants so she hastily blurts out, "Are you really? So you can identify any poison? But the one I made is an original, so you shouldn't have come across it before."

Urahara stares back at her for a long blank-faced moment, not even bothering to stitch on a smile anymore, and like this, he matches the flat undercurrent of his emotions much better, like ice over water, except the water is the ocean and you don't know how deep it goes or what's waiting underneath.

"Ah," The man finally says, lifting a hand to his hat for a moment and pressing down on it so that his eyes are hidden. Then he looks up again and eyes her like he's seeing her for the first time and is pleasantly surprised by what he's found. "I may not know the exact poison, but I could still tell there was something off. Also, it's plant-based, isn't it?"

He pauses, and then, just like Hirako, he picks up his rice bowl again and swallows a decent mouthful, chewing almost thoughtfully beforehand. "And refined with reiatsu. That's actually more difficult to hide from me. Your technique is clumsy too. Give me an hour and I could probably also tell you the strains you crossed to make it. For now, at the very least, I can say there's definitely wisteria in this."

Yuzu is rendered speechless for a full five seconds. And then she snaps out of it and rounds on her brother with the best puppy eyes in her arsenal. She knows they don't actually work, but Ichigo tends to give in to her when she pulls them out anyway because it means she really wants something. "Onii-chan, you'll invite them back again, won't you? Urahara-san is amazing! I could learn so much if he teaches me!"

Ichigo's eyebrows go up for a moment in a way that speaks of indulgence, but he also glances lazily at Urahara before going back to his food. "Ask him yourself."

Yuzu pulls up short, always slightly stunned whenever her brother refuses her, even when it's not a direct refusal. But generally speaking, if she or Karin wants something enough to ask for it, Ichigo has always been the sort to simply make it happen for them. The only times he's ever refused is when he'd thought it too unnecessary - Karin really shouldn't have asked for a flamethrower for her birthday, it's unwieldy and she can't hide it in her backpack, plus they know how to make Molotov cocktails already anyway, which is almost the same thing - or when he'd considered it important for them to get what they want on their own, usually because it would make for a useful life skill in the future.

Never has it been because of a person.

But for the first time ever, this situation seems to have fallen into that exact category, which... She looks back at Urahara with more curiosity than before. For someone Ichigo only finds tolerable, something about this man has... impressed him? Is that what's going on here? Not even Mizuiro has ever succeeded in that before, so for once, Yuzu has no precedent to draw from.

Well, that doesn't matter right now. The important thing is that Urahara will probably remain in her big brother's life for some time to come, which means-

"Urahara-san!" She shoots to her feet, chair clattering back with the force of it as she bows. "Please teach me more about poisons! It's okay if it's just a little bit, whenever you have time. I promise I'll work hard! And of course, I can pay for the lessons!"

She does some mental tallying. There's a bake sale coming up for her club, and the venue they've chosen is close enough to the Karakura border to attract people from the neighbouring town. If she plays her cards right, some thugs from nearby yakuza groups probably wouldn't mind donating to her cause. Pretty little girls offering pretty little cakes are bound to reel in at least a few idiots.

Of course, she'll have to ask Ichigo to get rid of them afterwards. It's better not to risk putting anything too lethal into a school bake sale, just in case of an accident, so she'll have to stick with upset stomachs at most. Once they've paid up, Ichigo can make them disappear. Those upset stomachs can get really gross, and blood and guts aren't much better if cleanup gets messy, so Yuzu would rather not deal with that part.

Unlike her siblings who don't mind it, Yuzu is unfortunately something of a clean freak. Karin always taunts her about having inherited their father's delicate constitution, and Yuzu can't even refute it, no matter how insulted she feels. It's seriously unfair because she can gut a fish in the kitchen no problem, but human intestines make her gag.

"I-" Urahara starts, jolting her out of her thoughts. The man looks taken aback all over again, and like he's missed a step somewhere. He even feels a bit nervous as he whips out a paper fan of all things, one that hides half his face from view. His gaze bounces between her and her brother, emitting enough anxious vibes that Yuzu suddenly wants to give him an emotional support dog or something. "I'm not sure I would be the... best choice for this sort of thing, Kurosaki-san."

Yuzu is unsure who he's talking to, but just in case it's her, she rearranges her face into the most kicked puppy look of disappointment she's capable of. "Why not? You know your poisons, and it looks like it'll be hard for me to kill you. Onii-chan can only teach me so much, it's not really his area, so I've only been able to trial-and-error it for months now. But I'm a quick learner, and I swear I'll listen to anything you're willing to teach me. Or, is it the money? Just name your price."

Even if she can't come up with it all on her own, she's certain Ichigo will help pay the rest. Honestly, even if it's within her budget, he'll just pour the same amount she shells out back into her bank account. The only reason they have to go in a big circle like this is because Ichigo wants them to learn how to handle money responsibly.

"That's not-" Urahara stops again, then snaps his fan shut, and then all of a sudden, it's like a wall comes up, and everything about him shuts down. He straightens, features as unreadable as the rest of him, and then he turns to Ichigo so that it's unmistakeable who he's talking to this time. "Kurosaki-san, is this really alright?"

Ichigo's basically finished eating at this point. Karin gets up for another bowl of rice. Mizuiro watches them like he's binging one of his romance dramas. And Hirako has his head propped up against one loose fist, eyes half-lidded but intent.

In response, Ichigo only shrugs. "I mean, you can say no. But like she said, I can't teach her much more than I already have, and it's not like she's gonna find a better teacher than you at this point, right?"

"And where did you learn it from?" Urahara asks, grey eyes riveted on Ichigo with the sort of focus that feels like he might've forgotten anyone else even exists.

Ichigo actually quirks a smile, sardonically amused. "Same place I learned everything else."

He doesn't expand on it, keeping the conversation on track instead, much to Yuzu's delight. "Anyway, if you're asking for permission, obviously it's a yes. I wouldn't have let her ask in the first place if I wasn't okay with it. And she's smart. You could do worse for a part-time student."

Urahara remains motionless and unblinking for another few seconds. "...Was this why you invited us for dinner?"

Ichigo shrugs again. "Not really. It's not like I knew you knew poisons. I just thought my sisters should meet you, that's all."

"And why's that?" Hirako interjects, also watching Ichigo with gleaming eyes that never waver. "Cuz ya don't seem the type to let jus' anyone get close to your nearest and dearest."

Ichigo turns to him, and his eyes are fond in a way they very rarely are when aimed at anyone not Yuzu or Karin or Mizuiro. It's not quite on the same level, but it does make it even more obvious that Hirako has her brother's favour.

"I thought it'd be good if they knew a few Shinigami," Ichigo says offhandedly, although judging by the slight stir of surprise from both guests, they hadn't expected he would just come out and say it. Or perhaps they're surprised he's talking about it in front of Yuzu and Karin and Mizuiro? But they're family. Yuzu doesn't know everything about Ichigo, but that's just because she doesn't want to know that much about her brother's life, not because Ichigo wouldn't tell her if she or Karin asks.

"You seem like you might bring trouble to my doorstep one day," Ichigo says, somewhat out of the blue, and all at once, Urahara tugs at his hat again just as Yuzu gets a sense of shifty-eyed discomfort all but waving support lights over the man's head. Hirako sort of feels the same, but in a less... personal way.

So whatever's going on, Urahara's probably the one in charge.

Ichigo seems to sense it too, or he's long guessed it considering his not great feelings for Urahara. Either way, he scoffs, and the light in his eyes says he's annoyed, but not annoyed enough to do something permanent about it. Yet. "Yeah, that's what I thought. So I figured it's better for you to know who you should do your very best to protect if shit goes down around them, because otherwise, I might not even feel like hearing you out. Understand?"

Hirako glances at Yuzu, at Karin, even at Mizuiro, then he turns back to Ichigo, solemn in a way Yuzu hasn't seen since they met, "I understand."

It sounds like a promise.

Ichigo hums, satisfied. Neither of them prods at Urahara for an answer, and Urahara doesn't give one. He feels flat again, like a scrap of paper.

"So like I said," Ichigo continues briskly. "If you wanna teach her, knock yourself out. You can send me the bill."

Yuzu beams at him. Looks like she won't have to waste any cakes.

From his seat, Urahara heaves a sigh, and now he just seems tired and still a bit baffled, but he also finally looks at her again like he's assessing her potential. Yuzu straightens and adopts her best imploring face.

This of all things makes Urahara's mouth twitch, and he even feels amused, except it's the sort of amusement that's all wrapped up in razor-wire mockery. That bit doesn't show on his face of course. Still, Yuzu's fingers suddenly itch with the urge to swap out his bowl with the other one after all.

"So clumsy," The man muses, one finger tapping at the cane leaning against his chair. "...Very well, I suppose I may have a few things I can impart to a budding... chemistry enthusiast. On one condition however. And I don't want money."

He looks at Ichigo again, except he doesn't say anything. Ichigo seems to understand anyway because a grin pulls at his lips, a touch too savage to fit on a human face, and aimed at anyone else, Yuzu knows they wouldn't even have time to pick out a coffin.

Urahara seems to be an exception. It makes Yuzu wonder if he's just that strong, certain in his ability to forever remain stronger than her brother, or if he's simply gambling with his life, and it's Ichigo instead who's decided to be uncharacteristically patient.

She hopes it's not the former, because she has no faith in anyone who thinks themselves capable of staying ahead of her brother forever. But if it's the latter, then maybe she'll have enough time to wheedle out everything Urahara knows of poisons before Ichigo snaps and kills him.

"That seems a bit unbalanced," Ichigo remarks.

Urahara inclines his head, and this time, his voice rings of the same vow that had reverberated in Hirako's earlier. "Upon my blade, my life before your family's, should the worst come to pass."

Ichigo laughs, soft and without humour. "This trouble must be something else. That, or you don’t think your life’s worth all that much. But fine. We'll hash it out tomorrow. Keep your word, and I might even go along with whatever you and your people have been cooking up. But Yuzu gets to bug you for lessons any day of the week from now on."

And once again, between one breath and the next, Urahara trades the gravity for the false affability from before.

It's like watching a performance, Yuzu thinks.

She glances at her brother and watches him watch Urahara, still annoyed, still a bit like he could put a knife through the other's ribs if it wouldn't mean the hassle of mopping blood off the floor.

Ichigo likes Hirako. Yuzu does too, even though they just met not even half an hour ago. There's something about him that makes him approachable and friendly despite the very obvious beast lurking beneath his skin. But that too might be part of the charm because Yuzu's long used to the same thing from her brother. Knowing even just that much, it's not a shock that Ichigo has clicked with him - a fellow monster - in a way he never has even with Mizuiro.

But Urahara is different. Urahara is treated with tolerance only, with irritation and discontent and even derision, on and off. But Yuzu knows that her brother has killed people for a whole lot less than that, and yet here Urahara sits at their family's table while Ichigo looks at him from time to time, tolerant and irritated and discontent and derisive, and he can't stop looking.

She wonders if even her brother is aware of what he's doing.

"I'll leave my number," The man offers, complete with a genial smile. "And you may stop by my shop anytime. Allow me a few days, and I shall have some reading material organized for you."

Yuzu perks up, nods, and finally sits back down, then gets up again to fetch two extra bowls of rice, this time clean of any poison. Hirako snickers but accepts his with a nod. Urahara does the same, with that same winning smile, and then dinner restarts, this time uninterrupted.

Well, who cares if Ichigo is aware or not? He’ll figure it out sooner or later. And besides, it’s all the same in the end— people who push her brother too far will face the consequences, and those who don't will not. That's just the simple truth of it.

But in the meantime, Urahara at least won't be going anywhere, which means Yuzu can finally get some guidance for one of her favourite hobbies, and honestly, that's all she really cares about.

[thebiggestwheel]

"Are you 'Chad' because of your name? Or are you 'Chad' because of what you are?"

Please show some love to this. I spent more time working on it than any person ever should :D

[gallusrostromegalus]

You mentioned once that Mai Valentine likes her sweets boozy and also you had a bunch of other preferred flavor profiles for TPOFATGIF. Any chance of something similar for AEIWAM?

I know Kubo made canon notes on everyone's favorite and least favorite foods, but this is for the AEIWAM versions of the characters. Here's much of the cast's food preferences, as characterization practice:

Ichigo:

As much as he gets teased for it and his name, Ichigo loves him some fruit. He will inhale any fruit or juice left unattended within arm's reach of him in seconds. Melons, berries, pineapple, pears, guava- he does not care. There is fruit, it's going in him. Isshin is pleased his son likes healthy snacks but sometimes the grocery bill can get alarming. Ichigo's least favorite food is anything with capsaicin in it- being a ginger means he's unusually pain-sensitive and with an equally touchy tummy. It burns on both ends and all the way through the middle too.

Orihime:

Tatsuki likes to joke that the gods were drunk when they made Orihime, and they put her taste buds in backwards. Truth is, Orihime is a sensation-seeking kind of autistic girl and loves novel flavors more than anything else. She read "salt, fat, acid, heat" and took it's advice very literally, so you end up with things like "cream (fat) of tuna (salt) balsamic vinegar (acid) sriracha (heat) casserole" . The only thing Orihime really dislikes is foods she's gotten bored of.

Chad:

Beef. The boy needs beef. Chad spent his early adolescence on his Grandfather's Cattle Ranch in Mexico, allowed to eat as much red meat as he wanted and his physique shows it. Now he's back in Japan where it's prohibitively expensive and he is DYING. Please. He is a large carnivore. He can't live like this. Chad's least favorite food is ironically, his most reliable source of red meat: the fast food burger. It's not the same. It mocks him.

(More Karakura Gang and Some Captains under the cut)

Uryuu:

Uryuu is the son of a doctor and a little weirdo in his own right and he will assemble a baked potato or disassemble a slice of pizza with surgical precision. He just sort of likes customizing his food before he eats it. Hence, his least favorite foods are things where all the ingredients are mixed together and inseparable, like stews and casserole.

Tatsuki:

Tatsuki is a hot wings afficionado- she likes all the flavors, because there's a lot of really nice flavor interactions in the milder sauces, but also, the hotter the better. She once entered a hot wings eating contest in middle school where every round was hotter than the last and sailed easily into the "scorpion death pepper" round before being declared the winner, much to her disappointment. She was still hungry, and those were a 5/10 at most for her. Tatsuki's least favorite food with anything with even a hint of clams or other mollusc shellfish in it. She hasn't been diagnosed with an allergy, but given her extreme aversion to shellfish, she's not going to press her luck.

Keigo:

Keigo lives on a rancid diet of junk food, novelty soda, and instant ramen and likes it that way, thank you. Ichigo periodically makes him eat an apple at sword point to get some kind of fiber and vitamin into him. Keigo's least favorite food is anywhere can't cook in a microwave, and all vegetables.

Mizuiro:

Mizuiro is way too vain about his skin and hair to live on Keigo's garbage raccoon diet, but he can't cook to save his life. His favorite foods are multivitamins and everything he can get delivered, and his least favorite is anything deep-fried and greasy

Rukia:

Rukia was raised in fantasy medieval Japan, but is a "I'll try anything once!" Girl and this has lead to her favorite food being Oregano. Favorite condiment. Puts it on everything, even ice cream. Once things calm down a little when she returns to soul society, she gets Orihime to send her a "care package" of assorted spices, snacks and modern "puzzle" foods (juice boxes and ramune) to show to Byakuya, who starts inviting friends and coworkers over to try these things too, and the resulting video makes Ichigo laugh hard enough to rip out a few of his stitches. Rukia's least favorite food is jellybeans, because she can never remember the flavors and keeps putting bad combinations of them in her mouth.

Renji:

Like Chad, Renji needs his fucking protein, and sure loves him some beef, but he's also got that ADHD Hyperfocus going on and regularly forgets to eat so while he's not specifically partial to the flavors, his favorite food in terms of 'keeping him alive and hale' is nutritional protein shakes. Like Ichigo, Renji is also partial to fresh fruits and has the spice tolerance of a recipe blogger from Kansas, but he does have an extremely strong aversion to Bananas that he refuses to explain.

Byakuya:

Byakuya is a sensation-avoidant autist who has had his aversions largely ignored in favor of "you need to uphold the clan honor by being POLITE at this dinner and EATING WHAT YOU ARE SERVED, you can throw up in private later", so his regular diet is quite mild and limited, which moderately terrified Unohana (she IS partially responsible for keeping him alive). A chance encounter with Zaraki Kenpachi accidentally saved the Kuchiki line because he introduced a New Food to Byakuya by being normal about it, and now Byakuya loves BEANS. All of them. Red, Black, Soy, Kidney, Mung, Great Northern, Purple String, Adzuki, Anasazi, Edamame, Pinto, Pole, Striped, Yard, Garbanzo and Navy. Peas too- English, snap, snow, lentil, black-eyed and split. Paired with already-acceptable rice, this makes his limited diet startlingly nutritionally complete and high in fiber. He'll never eat squid or octopus again if he can help it though.

Kenpachi:

AEIWAM Zaraki Kenpachi was raised by eagles and it shows through in weird places, like how he insists on eating poultry and fish bones like his mother taught him to. In fact, the bones from deep-fried chicken are his favorite, and he will help himself to the bones other people don't want. He has a cast iron stomach that rarely gets upset and a notable sweet tooth, but is extremely picky about texture. This surprises some people who think that living as a beggar for a few centuries means he'd eat anything, and comes as no surprise to anyone who HAS been that destitute- an off texture is often your only warning before a potentially lethal case of food poisoning. Hence, Kenpachi's least favorite foods are anything "slimy", which puts him off many sauces and seaweed-based dishes.

Yachiru:

AEIWAM Zaraki is significantly more amiable and cunning than his canon counterpart because, realistically, he had to keep Yachiru fed. No village will let a random murder-hobo in to eat, especially if he's broke, so Zaraki got exceptionally good at ingratiating himself with strangers and getting hired at odd jobs in a hurry. This was an extremely sharp learning curve because he found Yachiru when she was an infant and not yet weaned, and he had to go to some fairly extreme measures to get milk for her. It's a point of pride for him that his little girl has never gone to bed hungry, even if he did. Yachiru is very aware of the fact she has historically eaten better than her father, despite his best efforts to disguise it, so her favorite foods are anything she can share with him- bags of small candies or chips or other snacks she can divy up and insist he eat too. She gave Zaraki his sweet tooth sharing candy like this, but anything she can share while eating is a favorite. Her least favorite is boiled vegetables. There is nothing that can make boiled broccoli worth eating.

Unohana:

Retsu Unohana has severe ADHD and makes food choices based first on the dopamine reward she gets from eating them, and the medical knowledge of "you need vitamins and fiber too, bitch" second. She would live on high-octane coffee with an excessive amount of sugar and cream if it were nutritionally complete, but alas. She does have a notes fondness for organ meats like liver, kidneys and lungs because they taste "richer" to her, and the novelty appeals as well. However, she has seen the horrors of what The Wrong Mushroom will do to a human body up close far too many times, and it's put her off eating fungi entirely. She'll eat her own hand before she'll eat a mushroom.

Komamura:

Food is both a joyful and distressing experience for Sajin. Joyful, because his exceptionally sensitive sense of smell and taste means he gets to experience layers to even the most simple foods that humans can't even begin to comprehend. Distressing, because humans have a very weak sense of taste and over-season their food accordingly, often with poisons. A lot of the reason he started wearing a helmet was less about fear that humans would attack him for being a wolf man, or that he would inspire undue fear in others, and more that he has a hard time saying "No" to people, who keep unwittingly offering him food full of toxic onions or worse, grapes. The helmet was not easily removed, and kept the dangerous gifts at bay. Fortunately, modern humans are more aware of things that will poison him and more willing to make accommodations on his behalf. Still, his least favorite food is Raisins, which keep being added to otherwise perfectly good dishes, like someone deciding to sprinkle a bit of Water Hemlock in their tacos. He still keeps the Occasional "Carnivore Outing" he and Zaraki take to the distant mountains to celebrate their shared cultural heritage a secret though, because he's not sure most of his friends and colleagues are ready to learn that his favorite food is "Elk bone marrow, either still hot from the kill or after it's been buried in dirt for a week", but at least these days he has Zaraki "You know how it is with Liver and Eagles" Kenpachi to commiserate and split the carcass with.

Tousen:

Kaname did his required tour of duty in the living world in Oaxaca, Mexico and while he was there he developed a taste for Chapulines, or fried grasshoppers. He didn't mention this delicacy when he returned to soul society, not out of fear that people would think he was a freak- his coworkers already largely did, either because of his blindness or his Blackness, if not both- but because one of the few coworkers who he genuinely liked and got along with was Lieutenant Mashiro, whose favorite animal is Grasshoppers. His least favorite food is any alcoholic beverage or boozy dessert, because the one time he tried drinking with some friends from Shinigami academy, he developed a case of the spins just two drinks in and immediately became completely disoriented and couldn't right himself, and quickly became too nauseous and panicked to speak. His friends were having a GREAT time and thought Kaname was doing his usual wallflower nonsense until Liza Yadomaru finally realized something was amiss and she and Love Aikawa ended up taking him on a drunken sprint to the emergency room. He got better by morning but now even the smell of alcohol makes him feel sick again.

[incorrctbleach]

Orihime: Tatsuki and I were just walking across the street, and this guy drove by and honked at us. Mizuiro: What did Tatsuki do? Orihime: She chased him to the next red light then reached into his window and- Tatsuki, walks in holding a steering wheel: Who wants a steering wheel.

[bleachtitlepages]

[iamumbra195]

Y’know, the reason tatsuki probably latched onto Orihime is probably because she lost Ichigo. Not in the literal way but in the sense that Ichigo was probably her closest friend as a kid and even now, she’s still incredibly fond of him but there’s this very palpable distance between them. It’s like when you have a best friend for years and then suddenly you don’t feel like your their best friend anymore while they’re still yours

So when Orihime came along who 1) had orange hair and 2) is the literal embodiment of sunshine like little ichigo, she latched onto her. And then when Orihime got her powers and sort of started to drift away, Tatsuki noticed

she doesn’t like change because change took away her first best friend and now she’s scared of losing her second. But when things don’t change the way she feared they would she doesn’t say anything when she sees Orihime and Ichigo doing weird spiritual stuff, content to ignore it because unlike with Ichigo at first, she and Orihime both began seeing spirits about the same time and supported each other so even if Orihime can fight the monsters there’s like an equalization in their relationship-- Tatsuki protects Orihime from real world stuff and Orihime protects her from spiritual stuff. It’s why their relationship works in a way Ichigo and Tatsuki’s didn’t at first, because Orihime doesn’t stonewall Tatsuki in the same way Ichigo does. At first, anyways.

It even says the Tatsuki can sense her so even if she doesn’t have powers they have a connection on a spiritual level and she’s scared to lose that. So when Orihime disappears out of nowhere with no warning, she’s angry and terrified and she knows exactly who to go to because this kind of stuff only happens around Ichigo

So when he stonewalls her YET AGAIN, she snaps because this time, one of the most important ppl in her life is missing and someone who is supposed to be her friend refuses to tell her anything despite all the time, the years they’ve known each other. It’s double the hurt for her, seeing how little Ichigo trusts her, even in matters that concern others

which is great call out to Ichigo’s issues with trusting ppl and making every little thing his responsibility while refusing to rely on anyone else, adressed by Renji and Rukia later on in the arrancar arc when they yell at him for not waiting for them and trusting them to come back and help

the repeated theme of being asked if they’re friends and why he can’t trust them is just so painful because the difference in thee responses to Tatsuki and Rukia just put into perspective how much Ichigo pushd Tatsuki away since his mom died

That was tatsuki’s breaking point and it’s an accumulation of all the hurt of losing her best friend and hearing him say that probably hurt both her and Keigo and Mizuiro because they’ve been there the entire time, haven’t they? It wasn’t fair for them to be sidelined like this, especially when it’s their friends, when they can see all the weird stuff that’s happening but feel as if they can’t talk to Ichigo because he tries so hard to protect everyone that all he ends up doing is hurting them

once again, Ichigo’s trust issues, even with ppl who can fight, even with ppl who have raided sereitei with him

‘Not strong enough’ is interesting. He tries to deter ppl from helping him and coming to his side because he feels that being around them hurts them, he feels that Orihime’s kidnapping is all his fault. And he does this by hurting them with words.

‘Don’t come near me’ ‘You aren’t strong enough’

Another beautiful call out

Hearing Ichigo say he’ll save Orihime and apologize to her and the others probably made her realize how much he’s been surpressing and how much he’s been hiding from her in a stupid attempt to protect and she hates it, hates how much she understand it because it’s always been in his nature

It makes their friendship post-aizen both bitter sweet and awesome because she finally knows everything but he no longer has his powers so their positions are switched because no she’s the spiritually aware one while he has nothing to hold onto

But she treats him the same nonetheless (Mizuiro and Keigo do as well, Keigo even goes out of his way to check up on Ichigo, after the timeskip to makesure he’s doing okay)

Anyways that’s enough of my rant about the messy friendship that is Tatsuki Ichigo and Orihime :)

A beautiful fic from Tatsuki’s perspective and some cute Ichigo & Tatsuki friendship: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47193712

[thejollyrabbit]

Posted about Bleach a few times recently and it got me thinking about Ships for it so here are mine off the top of my head (may edit/add in more later).

Ichigo x Orihime: I like how the series didn't start with her already liking Ichigo but actually being afraid of him before her feelings did a 180 after getting to know Ichigo better and learning about him as a person.

Chad x Isane: Big man meets big(er?) woman. It must be so hard for Insane to find someone not intimated by her height, I found a height chart of just the shinigami and not counting the dog or the dead kenpachi there are very few characters taller than her.

Renji x his own hand: because he can fuck himself.

Ichigo x Yoruichi: She is a big tease / older woman & he is a hormonal teenager, which the series has absolutely depicted him as, usually when dealing with her teasing.

Ichigo x Rangiku: tried to seduce Ichigo, who has been depicted as the hormonal teenager he is, for a place to stay in the world of the living.

Ichigo x harem: as a descendant of the Soul King, via his mom, and the noble houses of Soul Society, via his dad, Ichigo has the most royal/noble blood in the series. A series where a third of reality has a very old mentality on nobility, so if they hadn't "made" a replacement (& the series wasn't pure Shonen), I could absolutely so Soul Society making Ichigo the new Soul King and forcing a harem on him in order to preserve the royal bloodline. I don't think he'd like it but I could see it happening.

Orihime x Tatsuki: in cannon best friends and I've had the errant thought that Tatsuki wished she was the one groping Orihime instead of Chizuru.

Orihime x Chizuru: I've had the errant thought that Orihime would chastise Tatsuki for stopping Chizuru with physical violence, because Orihime liked getting groped (& maybe even how public it was, she could be perverted, I rarely kink shame)

Tatsuki x Chizuru: I've had the errant thought that Tatsuki got so mad at Chizuru for groping Orihime because she wanted to be the one Chizuru was groping.

Tatsuki x Orihime x Chizuru: Poly Yuri + a combo of my reasoning for their individual pairings.

Yoruichi x Soi Fon: in cannon I think Yoruichi knows Soi Fon likes her but, despite being a flirt, she chose to keep their relationship professional due to the power imbalance of their families...but if Yoruichi didn't care about that...

Chizuru x (only when she's older) Yuzu: I always get budding pervert vibes from Yuzu so I can see her getting together the biggest pervert in the series.

Mizuiro x Ikumi Unagiya: He likes older women and she IS the series' resident MILF.

[troius]

Shunsui has a very reasonable concern here: we know that sufficiently spiritually powerful entities tend to screw up whatever is around them, and Soul Society's non-interference principle with the world of the living would oblige them to keep Ichigo away if he got to that point. But as Keigo points out, that's also interference-- it's taking away his friend, and it's taking away Ichigo's right to live his own life the way he wants.

Anyways, props to Keigo for being willing to throw hands with the Captain-Commander.

[bleached-socks]

[playing two truths one lie]

Ichigo: My name’s Ichigo, my eyes are green, and I’m actually a soul reaper who fights dangerous monsters on a daily basis.

Keigo: That’s easy–

Mizuro: His eyes are brown

Tatsuki:

Keigo:

Mizuro

Ichigo:

Tatsuki: WHAT–

[chaoticreivingu]

He got discriminated so bad he started referring to the teachers as "The Faculty" like they're part of a dictatorship and it's so slept on tbh

[pin-yao]

[ihf-arts]

Various Bleach fanarts

[thebiggestwheel]

Bleach Volume 16.5 - "Virtual Boy Advance"

Made this image as Part 2 of a proof of concept for a "What If...?" scenario where Ichigo's friends, this time Mizuiro, become Fullbringers and then accompany Ichigo in his attempt to save Rukia from the Soul Society. That's why the Volume number is "16.5".

Basically, "What If Ichigo's Friends Became Fullbringers and Went to Soul Society to Save Rukia". Let me know what you think!

[gallusrostromegalus]

If you are still taking questions, could I ask about Uryuu? Or Mizuiro, I have always loved him and wanted to see more of him.

The day after The Stabbing Incident in which Ichigo's Shinigami Powers were activated, Lunchtime:

--

"Rukia!" Ichigo called from the door. "We got a club meeting!"

"What? Oh, right!" She giggled, all bubbly persona, which immediately vanished in the hall "-You signed me up for a club? Ichigo, you know I don't have time for extracurriculars!"

"Calm down, this one doesn't assign homework. We just meet on the roof for lunch." He explained, marching resolutely against the stream of traffic in the hall.

"Oh? Up to something illicit are you?" Rukia teased, ducking behind him to avoid being swept away.

"Nah, we just meet on the roof so Kon can join us." Ichigo shrugged kicking open the door to the roof.

" 'SUP NERDS!" Ichigo bellowed affectionately at the gaggle of teenagers already assembled on the roof. "Okay Rukia, this is the "I Can See Ghosts And It fucking Sucks Club", guys, this is Rukia."

"Hi miss Rukia!" Waved a readheaded girt that puberty had hit like a truck.

"-Rukia is a shinigami like the freak that used to live in my dad's attic, and last night one of those bigass monster ghosts attacked my fuckin' house and Rukia kinda accidentally-on-purpose stabbed me and now I got fuckin' shinigami powers, which is mostly being able to ditch my body and summon a bigass sword to kill the monster ghosts with."

Those assembled stared at him in silence.

There was a rattle and Kon appeared at the top of the chain-link fence around the roof. "You know Ichigo, I think I know why your Literature class grades suck." the cat sighed. "Rukia got injured and used her magic sword to transfer her powers to Ichigo to fight off the hollow, and accidentally gave him too much and now she's stuck here until the Shinigami skills bleed back out of Ichigo."

"Ohhhhh..." the group nodded.

"-By stabbing me." Added Ichigo. "I feel like the stabbing part is being lowballed here."

"Welp. time to reset the counter." Sighed a lightly disheveled young man with brown hair, and the youthful looking lad with black hair beside him opened his laptop, typed for a few seconds and then turned the screen to show the group a digital counter that read

DAYS SINCE OUR LAST SUPERNATURAL NONSENSE AND/OR GRIEVOUS BODILY INJURY: 0

Previous streak: 17.324 Days.

"Thanks. Very helpful." Sighed Ichigo. "Tweedle Dee and tweedle Dumbass here are Mizurio and Keigo."

Ichigo pointed to the brunette. "Keigo here comes from a long-ass line of psychics and has been documenting every instance of supernatural activity in Karkura town going back to the middle ages since he was like. Ten? Don't let the fact that he's deliberately failing out of school fool you, he's probably the world's most brilliant moron."

"Iiiiiichigoooo, why you gotta make me sound like a loser in front of the actual-factual ghost girl?" Keigo whined.

"I'll stop making you sound like a loser when you stop being a loser." Ichigo huffed, and pointed to the black-haired youth beside him. "Babyface McGee here is Mizurio, he's our other technology geek, and he can cast Summon Gun."

"Pleasure to meet you Miss Rukia!" Mizurio said, extending his hand politely. "If you need some armament against the- what did you say they were called? Hollows? - I can provide you with something. First one's on the house, as my Uncle says."

"Oh!" Laughed Rukia. "By 'summon gun' you mean you have a way of purchasing weapons! I thought for a second you had the magical ability to spontaneously manifest guns or something ridiculous like that!"

The group collectively grimaced at her, except for the silent Giant, who was too busy snuggling Kon.

"Have you ever fired a weapon like a handgun Miss Rukia?" Mizurio asked holding his hand up beside his head, as though holding up an invisible object.

"Uh." Said Rukia, staring at his hand. ""...No."

"In that case I'm going to reccomend a Glock-17 lightweight pistol-" Mizurio nodded, and a small, bright blue light ignited in his palm, swirling and drawing Reishi into it, forming a physical object.

"-it's very reliable and easy to sight accurately, and doesn't have much of a kickback so I'm confident you'll only need a little practice to be able to handle it reliably!" He smiled cheerfully as the object finished manifesting in his hand, and he easily unloaded it with a practiced motion, set the saftey out of habit and offered it to Rukia to inspect.

"UH." Said Rukia, recoiling from the weapon with alarm.

"Oh don't worry!" Mizurio chirped. "Any gun that I make- And I make them, not summon them- has infinite ammo once the clip is loaded, and it's perfectly effective against hollows! You'll be perfectly fine using it!"

"I- You- I mean-" Rukia sputtered, staring wide-eyed at the gun. "-Did you. Learn? to do this?"

"Hm-..." Mizurio frowned at the gun. "Well, I've gotten better at it over time, but it's not like anyone taught me, if that's what you mean."

"Uh-huh." Rukia nodded, teeth bared in an attempt at a smile that completely failed. "You. Uh. You got any German ancestry?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know!" Mizurio laughed. "I don't actually know who my father is, and I strongly suspect he doesn't know his father either! Why?"

"...Mizurio, I think you're a Quincy."

---

Downstairs in the lunchtime meeting of the Karkura High School Crafts Club, Uryuu Ishida sneezed in the middle of a demonstration of different stitch types, and knocked over a large bottle of glitter, coating the entire room.

"...That's a bad omen if I ever saw one." Muttered one of the girls, sparkling.

---

"What's a Quincy?" Mizurio asked.

"It's a- Okay, before I start an explanation, is there anyone else here with weird supernatural powers?" Rukia asked.

There was a whirl of energy behind her and she turned to see the Silent Giant that had been cradling Kon had manifested a strange, sleek armor over his right arm. Kon was still cradled like a very spoiled infant in his left arm, purring.

"Hi. I'm Sado Yasutora, but I go by Chad." he spoke, voice barely above a mumble as he cautiously peeked up at Rukia through his bangs. "This is my punchin' arm."

"...Great." Whimpered Rukia.